Let the fun begin, this is the action step. These steps have all been active to your heart and mind, but now we’re gonna test our theories…
You are peeling back the onion of your heart and mind and stepping closer and closer to your most authentic self. This last step takes the thoughtful pondering and moves it into action.
Let's say you've been listening with curiosity and have decided to spend some of your time volunteering with BookBrigade (totally fictional org). You think, with this work I will be stepping closer to my authentic self and feeling strong and empowered, because I love reading and I love helping others gain access to books.
You assume that this group and work is going to feel this certain way. But that’s not the case. Three assignments in and feel drained. You even consider calling out "sick." That is really surprising! It can throw you off your path to authenticity. You can feel like you trusted the wrong thing, but you just tried something that didn’t quite work. That’s OK! Don’t loose faith in yourself. You were correct that you love reading and that you want to help others gain access to books. But if that organization’s environment is toxic or run by someone who is stuck up and mean, it will end up feeling bad. That’s on them, not your listening. You simply just need to find another outlet for that love that does feel good.
One exercise i love doing is the “how do i want to feel?” game.
You think up a situation, we’ll stick with this volunteering scenario, and ask yourself, “how do i want to feel?” Volunteering your time is something that can help you feel useful, strong, valid, joyful, happy, helpful and so on. Get really clear about what feelings you want this experience to feel like, so that when you are there, the gut check is easier because you’ve gone in with curiosity and not assumptions.
If you want to feel useful and strong. But the situation makes you feel redundant and small. You’re in the wrong place. That’s on them, not your understanding of what you need. Keep looking around and trying opportunities until you find one that meets your needs; useful and strong. It's out there.
Let’s spend a moment on the word strong…
There are SO many ways to be strong and feel strong that have nothing to do with your muscle tone. With a strong will, a strong spine, a strong sense of purpose are all ways that we can show up with strength in our lives. Or it may be that you love your big biceps and want to put them to good use! Point being, really sit with the words/feelings you choose and suss out what kind of that feeling you are cultivating.
This will help it be more identifiable and you can say NOPE or YAY faster.
I love getting to a fast NOPE. Throw out the idea finding your place should be fast and easy. NOPE that place and keep on truckin’. Listening all the way through for new signs and clarity.
And when you get a YAY, really burrow in and get familiar with that feeling, so you can feel it come up unexpectedly in other areas of your life.
You’ll be going along about your day and that YAY feeling will hit you and you’ll be like DAMN, i feel YAY! And i’m in the school garden?! I didn’t expect to feel YAY in the school garden! But there it is. Now you can identify and do more of the things that get you to YAY!
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If we are lucky, which i believe we are, we will continue to evolve and grow through our life so we must continue this joyful work of asking ourselves what is it we want and need, listening closely to the heart and gut’s response and then friends, we take action and test our theories.
So, trailblazer, how do you want to feel? What feelings are essential to you? What steps can you take to do more of the things that feel so good and right and true?
This work doesn’t have to be a slog where we dig out our past pains and relive them with an emphasis on blame. It can be discovery work, joyful work, forward facing work. We may take hints from the past where things when off course, but this is about the here and now. ALWAYS listening, always gut-checking, always playing, always learning.
Remember, i am right here rooting for you, everyday!
xo,
jenni